


This Thing's Out of My Control

by HauntMeReckless



Series: Aloha Ka Mea a Pau [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Danny, Danny-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, First Time, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Other, Possessive Steve McGarrett, Resolved Sexual Tension, Some Humor, Tags Are Hard, Top Steve McGarrett, Trans Character, Transgender, no one said I was good at this, trans Danno, trans!Danny "Danno" Williams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:07:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HauntMeReckless/pseuds/HauntMeReckless
Summary: Danny has moved to Hawaii and he's only a few months in with Five-O. But unresolved sexual tension with his partner (who seems to have found another way to try and kill him) is forcing Danny to uncover well guarded secrets he's had to protect with his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not saying this is going to be good. I'm hoping it's going to be great. But I have an insecurity complex and this is the first time I've tried to write something like this. I'm FTM myself so there's the experience I have. The rest? Ehhhh. Let's hope it's good. Because Danny is short like I am and I have whimsical head canons to cope with my insecurities. Don't we all. Takes place during season 1! Because I'm a new watcher.

 

 

**This Thing's Out of Our Control**

“Listen… Steve.” Danny let out a slow, quiet breath, averting his eyes from those dark, stormy blue ones. They were practically standing toe to toe and the room was _warm_. Danny could feel himself sweating from more than just the temperature in the room. It was the atmosphere, it was electric, and the sexual tension over the past few months hadn’t helped that any. “There are things about me that you don’t know-”

“I know everything about you.” Steve said immediately. It sounded a little defensive but it was also, typically Steve. Matter of fact and without any sort of tact or thought to how creepy that might actually come across. He was their commanding officer, he knew their files intimately, it was a little bit of an affront to the man to suggest otherwise. And Danny could hear it in his voice.

“No you…” Danny managed a smile and breathed a laugh but dammit he couldn’t look up from where his eyes were glued to their shoes. “Sure you know my file front to back but that isn’t-”

Steve set his jaw, giving them some distance and that hurt. But that was what had to happen. Danny knew he should take his hands away from Steve’s chest but he couldn’t. He wasn’t strong enough. Even though he knew, inevitably… it was what _had_ to happen. And why couldn’t he just play straight, laugh this off? Get over it? Get them both over it? That was the safest option. That should be the _only_ option. They were a special division of the police department but they were still the police. Mostly. And gay relationships weren’t exactly welcomed with open arms.

“It’s not the same as knowing the person personally.” Steve finished for him. “I get it.”

Danny drew in a breath, pulling air into his lungs, willing himself to stuff the panic in his gut down to a minimum. And decisively walked away, out of his own office, before he could do something real stupid like apologize, say the hell with it, and kiss Steve. Like they’d almost done, like they’d come so close to doing.

And dammit it hurt. But it was the only way it could be. Because he was something altogether different. And Steve would never think of him the same if he knew the truth. It was better this way. There had to be a distance. There just had to be. What he was didn't allow him to have what he wanted.

“Danny.” Steve called out to him.

Danny raised a hand without looking back, gesturing for Steve not to say anything, not to follow him. And just kept walking.

 

They didn’t talk about it after that. Danny went to a bar and got a little drunk. Steve was quieter than usual toward him for a few days but it was the look in his eyes. That look like Steve was trying to take him apart and Danny had an irrational feeling that he just would, somehow, even if Danny didn’t tell him the truth. That he’d just find out regardless.

And then came the apology. Which Danny hadn’t been braced for. Expecting? Sort of. He’d been working on his own apology, and his own lies. That he wasn’t gay, that no harm had been done - that one was the truth - and that they should just be and stay friends. Laugh it off, smooth it over. No matter how much it hurt - Danny had done it often enough in the past to do the biggest hurt of all and lose Steve.

Lose him? He’d never had him. But this apology… it tasted bitter in Danny’s mouth. Steve didn’t have a damn thing to apologize for.

“Whatever was going on between us… I just didn’t think I’d read the situation wrong.” Steve continued. “But I am sorry.”

Danny didn’t mean to wince. This was the part where he should laugh it off. This was part of the script where he smoothed it over, assured Steve that they were still best friends and partners and that there were no hard feelings. Blatantly ignore that an attraction between them had been building, they’d been getting too damn close to the fire, and last night they’d unintentionally gotten burned. Just ignore it all. Ignore the evidence, claim it was all circumstantial. Thin.

But the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

“Dammit Danny.” Steve said quietly, hands on his hips now, staring off hard at the setting sun. “Listen I know what happened last night…” He gave up, meeting Danny's eyes. “Explain it to me Danny. Because it felt like a mutual thing-”

“It was.” Danny blurted out. Steve wasn’t going to let this go. It would be stupid to think he’d just buy a lie and ignore the truth. That wasn't the kind of guy Steve was. What had happened last night was inarguable. Steve couldn’t let it go, couldn’t accept a lie, anymore than he could let go of a case.

“It was a mutual thing but I can’t…” Danny rubbed his hands over his face. Hard. And let out a loud, aggravated noise. He couldn’t lie to Steve. But he didn’t know how to make this all go away. And he didn’t know how to make his own damn feelings go away either. Which was a lot worse in the end. And he met Steve eyes, hopelessly. “I just can’t. And you have to take it at that and let it go.” And he begged Steve to just let it go.

Horribly, and fortunately, Danny got his wish.

Steve held his eyes a moment longer, staring at him again like he was trying to take apart the whole situation and figure it all out. But then Steve let out a breath and nodded, shoulders slumping slightly when he dropped his hands from his hips. “Okay.”

And that was all he said.

Danny let out a slow breath of relief - but he kept the relief carefully off his face, kept the sound neutral. And he dropped his eyes to the table that he was sitting at. And he wasn’t going to let go of the table just yet, where his hands were placed palm down on the metal surface, because they’d probably be trembling - hastily pulling himself together. And also aggressively telling himself to get the hell over it.

Get the hell over Steve.

 

That didn’t happen. As a matter of fact, it all probably got worse. Until Danny was resigned to the fact that they were on a one way train to heartbreak and emotional warfare. Unrequited love was a bitch. Mutually shared love that both, for some stupid reason, refused to act on - was much worse. It got so bad that the Five-Oh family staged an intervention. Probably sick of the occasional angst, the palpable sexual tension, and the worsening arguments. Definitely.

“Look.” Chin said. Sitting down with Danny outside, alone and just the two of them, on a bench. The breeze was actually cool. Everyone claimed Hawaii was paradise, a dream posting and it probably was to most people. Danny just felt hopelessly out of place. “You won’t tell him why-”

“I _can’t_ -”

“-and you know he won’t be able to let that it go at that if you don’t tell him.” Chin said. “You owe him that much.”

Danny winced. “Dammit Chin.” he swore softly. Because he was right.

“So will you?”

Danny felt a rush of shame so deep that it made him sick. “I can’t-”

Chin let out a frustrated breath. “ _Why_? Listen if you think it’s because two male cops can’t be together, it’s happening-”

“Chin I swear to god! Just let it go!”

Even though there wasn’t any vehemence in Danny’s tone, Chin looked angry at him. And Danny felt like he deserved it.

“This is a problem.” Chin said flatly, dark eyes angrily watching him. Frustrated.

“I can’t tell him because it would change everything.” Danny said in an uneasy rush of fear, panic, and a little bit of self loathing. He’d come a long way in accepting himself as he was, as a person, but sometimes that confidence and self acceptance felt like a tenuous and fragile thing. And Danny didn’t want to go back to hating himself, didn’t want to go back to being unable to look in a mirror. He was happy. At least… mostly. Intimacy, he wouldn’t lie, he missed it. And the intimacy was out the window now that his wife had left him. Danny didn’t blame her either honestly. And that was a bitter thought.

“Tell me _why_.” Chin urged him and to his credit, he wasn’t shouting. His voice was actually a little soothing, firm. Kind.

“Chin I can’t tell you, I can’t tell anyone.” Danny groaned. “It would change everything and I can’t-”

Chin sighed, a frustrated, pointed noise.

And Danny dropped his head into his hands and groaned louder. And he gave Chin an almost desperate look. “Listen. Men have dicks. And they measure each other with them-”

Chin looked about ready to argue but Danny cut him off.

“No. You _know_ it’s true and I’ve always had the smaller dick just being _shorter_ than everyone else so-” Danny bit down on any other words so hard that his jaw hurt. And Chin looked spectacularly confused now. And Danny lost the war against keeping his mouth shut, saying in an angry, mostly frustrated and desperate rush. “So how do you think I’d measure up in your eyes if I didn’t even _have_ a real goddamn dick!”

Chin’s mouth immediately dropped open.

It would almost be funny if - fuck it. Fuck it. Danny laughed hysterically. “Yeah! Yeah Chin. _I don’t even have a goddamn dick_.”

Chin blinked, and then he blinked some more, and it looked like he was trying to shut his mouth. And failing. His eyes fell down to Danny’s lap and Chin immediately, or would have blushed in embarrassment if his skin tone could show it as obviously as Danny’s. And he jerked his eyes away, letting out a quick breath, but Danny was already standing and walking… _somewhere_. Hell he wanted to run. But he angrily walked towards the beach instead - planning to walk until he got sand all up in his miserably suited shoes until he was laughed at by the locals.

And tears blurred Danny’s vision before he could suck in an unsteady breath and he forced them back angrily. He hated himself. He hated what he’d said. Danny couldn’t believe even he’d said it. “Way to fucking go Danny.” he cursed himself under his breath. “Way to fucking go you _idiot_ -”

What the hell had he done? Maybe Chin would assume it was an injury. Yeah maybe he’d get lucky. And maybe he’d sprout wings out of his ass and fly back to New Jersey.

Danny sat back heavily in the sand, legs sprawled out in front of him, elbows on his knees. And his breathing was ragged, unsteady, but he stared angrily out at the setting sun - glaring at it until his eyes burned. He’d probably just ruined his entire life. Every fucking good thing he’d found in a place he hadn’t even wanted to be at just a few months ago. All he'd wanted was to go back to New Jersey and even though Danny would loudly complain that it was still true, that he still did… he didn’t. Now he wanted nothing else but to stay. But how the hell was he going to fix this? _Could_ he even?

He must have sat there for the better part of an hour. The sun was setting slowly and it was beautiful. Wasn’t it? Wasn’t everything about this island state supernaturally and wildly beautiful? Danny had probably thrown himself out of a paradise he hadn’t even wanted. And now he felt ridiculously dumb. Overwhelmed. Lost. Where the fuck had he gone wrong? How, after being so damn good at keeping his secret for years, did he fail so spectacularly in a matter of minutes?

Someone suddenly sitting down beside Danny almost made him jump out of his own skin. He looked over and there was Steve. And Danny stared at him in wild, bewildered type of shock. Should he run? He almost laughed at himself for considering it and the mental image. But he was too scared to do anything but to sit and stare at the man instead.

Steve wasn’t looking at Danny, but he looked to be choosing words carefully. “You were born… Danielle McCarthy Williams. Chin told me what you said and I didn’t tip off any red flags when I did some checking. No one will find out. Everything is still sealed and wiped.”

Danny swallowed heavily. His eyes were probably comically wide. He wondered how pathetically lost he might look. But he was so out of his mind with shock that he could barely feel anything beyond the rushing anxiety in his chest and - and he didn’t even know what. He was too overwhelmed to find a response. There was no fixing it. There was no hiding. Now Steve just _knew_.

Steve met his eyes and if Danny hadn’t been able to speak before, he really couldn’t now. Steve didn’t look disgusted. That resounding thought almost prevented any others. He didn’t look angry. He didn’t look like he hated him. He looked… Steve looked like he was trying his hardest to understand, to grasp it all, but his eyes were kindly intent, concerned. “You’ve had a mastectomy… but not a phalloplasty or anything similar. You have a prosthetic-”

Danny nodded, staring at the sand between his feet, fighting back the urge to throw up. And he wanted to run, he just wanted to run and never stop but Danny didn’t do that either. He was frozen in place, doing his best not to shake to pieces. He knew now. Steve knew now. And that thought drove Danny to his feet. And he just started walking, down the beach, ignoring when Steve called out his name. It sounded a little distant and maybe he wouldn’t follow him-

Danny heard footsteps behind him, coming up quick, and then there was a hand on his arm. Steve. He’d recognize those hands anywhere. And they were pulling him around and - Danny lost all the air in his lungs and his body seized up in shock as Steve leaned down and captured his mouth with his. The grip on his arm was almost painful, but it felt more like he didn’t want Danny to disappear. But Danny couldn’t think of anything beyond _Steve_. Steve _kissing him_. Steve’s lips. Steve’s hands. Steve’s warm breath ghosting over his lips as they fought a little desperately for air and then went back for another round.

Danny tilted his head up and was kissing him back before he could even tell himself that he couldn’t and that he shouldn’t.

And then Steve wrapped his other arm around Danny and pulled him close and Danny grabbed onto his shoulders and he didn’t want this to stop. But god - how was this even happening? And he pulled back, staring into Steve’s eyes in shock and wonder and utter disbelief. “You…” Danny tried. And failed. His lips were tingling, missing the warmth, the taste of the man he was standing toe to toe with - pressed against him with little room left between. “Are you serious right now? Is this-?”

Luckily Steve cut off any more of his stupid, befuddled questioning with another kiss, a near grin tugging at his lips before they were back on Danny’s - effectively robbing him of the ability to think, breathe, talk or ask any more dumb questions. And there was an uncomfortable ache between his legs and he could feel the beginnings of a hardness against his ribs that was all Steve. All that sexual tension was breaking and Danny just couldn’t touch Steve _enough_ but he knew they couldn’t do this here - even if it was getting dark.

Steve was restrained enough as a human being to know the same and when the kissing finally broke off, they were winded and practically gasping quietly against each other’s lips, staring into each other’s eyes - equally bewildered. Equally and desperately wanting more even if Danny could hardly believe it. Could scarcely believe how this was real or happening. And he had some stuttering, uneasy thoughts, confused. “Steve what… what is this-” he whispered.

Steve almost looked hurt and Danny hastily tried to explain but just descended into even more useless cave man talk. “I - you… Dammit Steve you know and-”

Steve pulled him in for a more tempered and less desperate kiss, but it was no less intense. And this one was begging for Danny to understand the meaning behind it. But Steve spoke softly regardless and that was good because Danny was drowning in it all, in the disbelief that Steve was here in his arms regardless, wanted him regardless of the knowing. Knowing something next to no one but his ex-wife had been aware of. “I’ve dated men.” Steve said quietly. “I’ve dated women too. I’m attracted to _you_ Danny. You’re a man to me, regardless. Just-” Steve broke off, looking a little frustrated. “Can we try? I’ve never done this before, I won’t lie. But I wouldn’t be trying if I didn’t think I could. If I didn’t want to. And I want to. I want you Danny.”

That was enough for Danny. Because this could go bad. Oh this could go so bad. They could end up really hurt. Danny’s wife had left him because his dick wasn’t real and she hadn’t been able to look at the parts beneath the prosthetic. It had nearly destroyed Danny and he didn’t know if he could come back from that happening twice. But he couldn’t say no to Steve either. Something in his gut, something buried down deep beneath all that blind, all consuming terror of what _could_ go wrong… something was telling him that this was Steve. Somehow, in some crazy way, wherever they landed - they were going to be okay.

“Okay.” Danny said. “Let’s just…” And he pulled Steve down for another kiss.

 

The offices were empty when they walked back in to headquarters. Steve had texted everyone with a single message. _All clear, go home._ And Danny was mostly relieved because he barely made it back to the office, they barely made it back to headquarters, and a car ride would have been impossible to endure. They were men when it came right down to it. And working it out physically, that’s where it was going anyway, seemed like the most sensible thing. Sensible probably had left with ‘rational’ and ‘clear and conscious thought’ but neither man was complaining. There had been enough sexual tension for months now and Danny was over it. He was scared to death but he was over it.

So in Steve’s office, Danny got down on his knees and showed Steve exactly how he felt about him. It was something he’d been dying to do, aching to have it in his mouth, wondering what it would be like but knowing it would be good. And it was better, far, far better than anything he’d ever imagined or previously experienced. Steve’s control came and went, Danny could feel and see that. He’d pull himself back from the edge because he was the kind of guy who gave and didn’t often let himself receive. Danny could see his mind working, struggling to just receive and not give.

Danny wished he could tell him he _was_ giving. That Steve was giving him so damn much. Because the length of him, the feel of Steve’s dick pressing down his throat, even the sensation of the hard floors underneath Danny’s knees was heaven. Was a real paradise he never wanted to leave and when Steve let himself come, that was something Danny was never going to forget. He held onto Steve’s hips, muscular thighs, hell his open leather belt - both men grasping onto each other in a grip that was almost bruising.

And when Steve pulled him in for a kiss - _that_ was a surprise. It wasn’t that Danny had pegged Steve for vanilla but it had been a struggle to even pin him as liking other men or being sexually attracted to them. And Steve didn’t get into the kiss but it was an effective way to communicate a whole lot of other things neither one of them really had the words for at the moment. And Danny felt the back of Steve’s hand brush almost questioningly against his stomach and rest there, his knuckles warm and drifting lower but Danny felt a spark of panic and clasped a hand over his wrist.

And the hot and heavy kissing stopped and Steve searched his eyes, taking him apart again. Danny felt his stomach flip. “Stay the night. With me. Tonight. My place, yours. I don’t care.”

“Yours.” Steve murmured, brushing a kiss over the side of his face and dammit it was tender, causing Danny’s heart to do uncomfortable things. “Just because I think that’s where you’d be better off-”

Danny nodded in agreement. Because he was right.

“-and not because I don’t want to take you home and keep you in my bed and never let you leave it.”

Danny went white hot all over at the dark, undercurrent of possessiveness in Steve’s voice, his mouth going completely dry. The passion, the lust. It was as loud and clear as Danny usually ever heard him get, even if it was delivered very nearly with the same, stoic canter. And Danny was damn sure his briefs were ruined.

It wouldn’t have been the first, second, or even a hundredth time in as many as a few months.

 

Danny woke up to sunlight, warm sheets, and a body beside him. He wasn’t wearing his prosthetic, he’d taken it off the night before and had crawled into bed with Steve when it was good and pitch black. Steve had pressed right up against him from behind, wrapping a possessive arm around his chest and they’d fallen asleep together just like that. It was as bare as Danny had ever felt with any other living soul.

And now the protective cloak of darkness was completely gone. It was daylight, he couldn’t hide the lack of a penis from Steve unless he was obvious about it. And Steve would see him, _really_ see him. Danny knew he passed, he passed a hundred percent physically as a male. No one knew the difference, no one knew his secret. The scars from his mastectomy had faded almost completely, it had been so long ago, and he could go shirt free without worrying about anything. But this… dammit here came the fear again, the anxiety. And Danny felt frozen in place.

And then he realized, as Steve urged him to roll over onto his back with a hand on his shoulder, that Steve was awake and probably had been for awhile. Danny let out a low breath and went with the silent urging. He rolled over onto his back and didn’t hide a thing. He owed Steve that much. Eyes wide open and all that. He’d never believed in being deceptive or hiding who he was to anyone during a relationship… he had just never sought out relationships before. His ex-wife had been a bold move because he’d thought he could if she’d take him. And maybe it had been bad that she had.

But this was Steve. There it was, that gut feeling again, that this could get hella rocky. But somehow, someway, they’d see it through the other side.

Danny appreciated the lack of words, the lack of talking, they didn’t really need them or to say anything at all. Danny was suddenly caught up in dark blue eyes, and Steve looked calm, maybe a little nervous - some where and some way. If a person knew Steve as well as Danny did, could read between all the little stoic lines, catch the micro expressions that others missed. And Danny’s mouth was so dry he didn’t think he could even find the English language.

The back of Steve’s fingers trailed down Danny’s muscular and stocky chest, the dusting of blonde hair, and the trail of it down his stomach. Slowly, firmly too. Like Steve was doing exactly what he wanted to do, picking up from the second that Danny’s anxiety had said ‘nope’ last night and put a halt to anything further. Danny let out a breath to calm himself and didn’t shy away. He let Steve touch, they were going to cross this bridge anyway. They had to know if this was going to work.

And then Steve’s hand was disappearing under the covers, fingers experimentally stroking over his mound - where a dick would have been on any other, naturally born guy. Danny’s head fell back to the pillow and Steve’s arm behind his head and he couldn’t hold the man’s eyes anymore. He couldn’t suppress the groan either because Steve was experimentally stroking him with four fingers, rubbing over a pronounced and enlarged clit and the dampness starting to soak through. He felt Steve’s breath catch a little bit at that and Danny dared himself to open his eyes.

And he was glad he did. Because Steve’s eyes were blown with lust, watching Danny without a single once of disgust. Only desire. Liked he _liked_ what he was seeing. A lot. And dammit Danny almost whimpered, he did bite his lip and groan. It had been so long since he’d been touched like this. He couldn’t even remember the last time. And this was Steve. And that just elevated everything past any rational thought, there was so comparison. And Steve’s hand felt so good and his fingers were stroking, just touching, but damn Danny was so wet already. He was aching, biting his lip, struggling to hold his hips still.

Steve moved, but not away, trailing his hands down Danny’s body as he pushed the covers out of the way and knelt on the mattress. He looked up questioningly as he laid out on his stomach, meeting Danny’s eyes as he hooked his fingers in the band of Danny’s briefs. Danny just managed an amazed, awestruck nod. Touching was one thing, but maybe in his befuddled brain he couldn’t imagine the seeing. Steve looking at him, his barest, most vulnerable part of himself. The very secret he had to hide. That had never really been accepted.

Sure Danny had stumbled through the gay and lesbian scene in Jersey and New York. But then he’d gotten married and shut himself away good and tight and even then his life had been such a carefully guarded secret. And Steve. This was Steve.

Danny lifted his hips as Steve pulled his briefs down. Steve’s eyes were holding his, had been, wordlessly assuring him that he was okay. The man was so calm, patient. But as Danny’s briefs were pulled down around his thighs, Steve’s gaze fell immediately down between Danny’s open thighs. And Danny swallowed hard but Steve didn’t look disgusted… actually he looked amazed. “Wow.” he said quietly.

Danny fought the urge to squirm and didn’t exactly succeed. “Now you’re gonna go and make me self-conscious-” he laughed quietly.

“No. Don’t.” Steve said immediately, looking up and holding his gaze with his eyes. “Don’t do that.” He said in a more hushed tone. And then he leaned down and pressed a kiss into a muscular, hairy inner thigh. And even that alone, Danny’s head fell right back to the pillow and he fought to stay still under Steve’s hands. It was so much, too much, not enough. He wanted more, the man’s large hands felt so good and those lips were warm and kissing his thighs and _Jesus_ Danny didn’t know how he was going to survive this-

“Hey.” Steve murmured quietly. “Eyes on me.”

Danny obeyed, blinking curiously, not quite scared out of his wits anymore. He was still waiting for judgment but not so nervous he felt like he was going to puke. But here Steve was - gripping his briefs tight in his hands where they were pulled down around Danny’s thighs, alternating between his thighs and his underwear. And the man’s tongue licked at his lower lip to wet it and Danny swallowed hard. “You okay?” Steve asked. “You with me?” And the last sentence was whispered against a thigh after a warm, wet kiss.

“Y-yeah. Yes.” Danny managed.

Steve took a hold of his briefs. “Can I take this off?”

Danny jerked a nod.

Steve rewarded him with a kiss to his thigh and pulled them down his legs and off, spreading him open with a large hand and and putting his other hand under Danny’s knee, pushing his other leg up. Danny was spread open and god there was nothing, no where to hide. But again, Steve was getting a good, long look and there was no disgust, no distaste on his features. Just that same look of amazement, pupils dilated, _hell_ he looked good between Danny’s thighs. Underneath that soothing calm he was projecting, Steve looked like he wanted to eat him alive and Danny knew he was wet but that made him wetter.

And Steve could probably see that too, the sun was shinning right through the closed shades, warmly and brightly illuminating Danny’s wet, aching vag. Steve took his hand out from under Danny’s knee and reached out, stroking a hand over Danny’s stomach. “Can I?” he asked, hand trailing lower.

“Touch?” Danny cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah-” he swallowed heavily. “Yeah whatever you want.”

“Because I read about dysphoria-”

Danny shook his head. “I’ve made peace with my body. Long time ago.”

Steve pressed a kiss to Danny’s inner thigh and scooted closer, an arm around his thigh and hip. And he was watching him close but Danny didn’t mind. Steve was learning, this was new to him, he was okay with the scrutiny. How else were they ever going to learn about each other? Last night, on his knees at Steve’s feet, he’d loved to watch Steve too. Take in every gasp, every expression, any sign of pleasure - hooded blue eyes watching him from above, mouth parted in pleasure, lips wet. Begging to be kissed and sucked on.

Steve’s thumb found his enlarged clit and he tipped his head to one side, studying it. “Damn.” he murmured. And immediately shot Danny an apologetic look.

Danny actually smiled. “That’s all right. It uh… it gets bigger with hormone therapy.”

“You’ve been on that since you were ten.” Steve said.

“You always do your homework.” Right now he was glad for it. Shaken that Steve cared so much to commit all those details to memory. It meant more to him than he could possibly say.

After studying Danny's large clit like he was considering the best, tactical approach to figuring it out - and that was both incredibly endearing and incredibly hot - Steve took Danny's clit in hand and gave an experimental stroke, pulling the skin back and forth over the head of it. And Danny was worried he was already going to come too quick. “ _Oh Jesus Steve.._.” he groaned, head falling back to the pillows, reaching down to grasp onto the man’s wrist. Steve's other arm was wrapped around his hips, hand holding onto his thigh.

“Good?” Steve asked, lips warm against his thigh.

“Yeah. _Damn_ -”

“Can I…” Steve asked, pressing another hot kiss much closer to something important.

“Yep. Yeah. Please - fuck _yeah_.” Danny gasped out.

He’d missed this. He’d missed the feel of a hot mouth on him, sucking him down, a tongue inside him - everywhere, anywhere. He’d missed it. And again - Steve. This was _Steve_. And Steve’s low, pleased groan at his words made his pussy ache and clench and he opened his eyes to watch. His vag was surrounded by thick blonde hair - carpet did match the drapes, Danny liked to joke sardonically. But his enlarged clit stood out from the folds. Steve had no trouble pressing a slow kiss to it, the shaft of it, and Danny ground out a low groan.

“Damn Danny.” Steve swore softly, voice reverent. “You look so damn good.”

Danny’s throat clenched tight, could hardly believe it was true, but he couldn’t even choke out a response because Steve had worked out a good approach and was sucking the head of his clit into his mouth. Tentatively, dark blue eyes flickering up to catch his. Steve sucked on him slowly, in and out, slipping his thick, enlarged clit over his tongue. And Steve looked like he was enjoying himself, like he actually liked the taste, was enjoying himself too. Danny could hardly breathe, he was already getting close and found some part of Steve to squeeze in warning. “Steve I… I get really wet-”

“Yeah?” Steve whispered and with his hands, he spread Danny open wider, parting the folds and leaning down to nuzzle against his clit. “I like that.”

“You do?” Danny managed. “‘Cuz I might soak the sheets a little.”

Steve reached out and rubbed his fingers against the soaking wet opening of Danny’s pussy, not pressing in, not just yet. And he actually groaned. “Damn you weren’t kidding. Got more sheets?”

“Yep.” Danny said.

“Good.” Steve leaned forward and sucked Danny’s clit into his mouth again, a little bit more firmly this time. And he bobbed his head up and down, taking him all the way until all of Danny was in his mouth and Danny was panting, thighs trembling, groaning incoherent things like ‘don’t stop’ and a lot of swear words.

“Feel good Danny?” Steve whispered, tonguing the head of his clit firmly.

“ _Christ_ yeah Steve-” Danny gasped.

“You okay if I put my tongue inside you?” Another warm kiss to his thigh.

“Shit you can put anything inside me Steve-” Danny gasped out without even thinking twice.

Steve groaned loudly and took him up on that, Danny feeling a thick finger slide into his wet vag, into the hot core of him - nice and slow, easy. And then his tongue followed, thrusting in to taste, kissing his folds, sucking on his wet heat. Steve licked around the edge of his entrance and Danny was about ready to lose his mind. “I come kinda thick-” he gasped out. “White. Like a guy. Might be weird-”

Steve just hummed his acknowledgment against Danny’s thick clit, pushing another finger inside, and Danny couldn’t - he really couldn’t hold on. Steve was spreading him open again and his tongue was everywhere, demanding, wet, hot and his fingers were pumping in and out of him -

“Come in my mouth Danny-” Steve ordered in a low whisper and Danny, one hand gripping Steve’s hair and the other his wrist, came so hard he almost blacked out. He could feel a gushing wetness, the orgasm knocking the wind out of his lungs, and he really was coming _on_ Steve’s tongue and shouting the man’s name. Steve kept lapping at him until he was finished, stroking his tongue in and out and sucking on his clit too, grabbing it in his mouth with his lips and taking in the entire length.

Danny roused, feeling insistent, almost urgent kisses against his stomach and pulled Steve up to taste himself on the man’s lips. And he groaned low and deep feeling the man’s hard erection pressed into his hip. They were so busy kissing, hard and in whatever they could get it, that Steve could barely break off to speak. “Can you-?” he coughed a little awkwardly. “Do we need condoms?”

“Yes.” Danny kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth, bit at his bottom lip and blindly reaching for his night stand. “I just… ya’ know in case I wanted kids of my own. From me. Not _having_ them Christ just-”

“I’m not judging.” Steve assured him and cut him off with a deep, loving kiss.

“And-” Danny put a hand on his chest as he passed a condom over. “After my ex… I thought maybe I’d try dating men. But I never got around to it. To anything.”

Steve looked all at once sympathetic, pained, and understanding and the kiss he initiated next was soul deep, tender, and claiming. “Good.” he whispered in his ear and Danny felt a full body shiver at that possessive word. And he was happy he hadn’t either.

The condoms worked, thank god. They weren’t expired and they fit and Steve hooked an arm under Danny's leg under his knee, holding it up so it rested nearly over Steve’s shoulder - if he’d been tall enough. The other stroked down his leg, firmly gave his thigh an affectionate squeeze. “You good?”

“You?” Danny asked.

“Oh yeah.” Steve said and it was the completely serious, life or death look in his eyes, over something like this even, that blew Danny’s mind. Steve was sure, of course he was sure. He was _Steve_. The man didn’t do a damn thing without being sure about it and that was the most reassuring thing of all. First and foremost though, the love in Steve’s eyes. The lust, the desire.

Steve lined himself up against Danny’s wet opening and pushed. The head slipped in and despite being so wet, Danny was tight. It had been a damn near decade since a hot, real, human dick had been deep inside of him. But damn did it feel good. So fucking good, so hard, so hot. _Steve_. Danny had to fight back a suspicious moisture in his eyes and he was pretty sure he failed. Because Steve looked suddenly more than a little emotional as he groaned, breathlessly, like for all the world - sinking inside Danny was the best damn thing he’d ever felt.

“Steve-!” Danny cried out quietly.

“Danny, Danny, Danny-” Steve murmured against his neck, low words of affectionate, loving adoration. “All mine, Danny.”

“Fucking right.” Danny managed to choke out, gripping Steve’s thigh, encouraging him in nice and deep.

“ _Fuck_ you feel so damn good-” Steve gasped out and then he started thrusting.

Danny’s enlarged clit, the head of it, felt like it was sliding right over Steve’s dick with every stroke and their pelvis’ pressing against each other felt just as good, bumping up right against his clit. Danny held onto Steve, keeping his legs wide and open and basking in the feeling of being so completely filled. Steve was the kind of guy that liked to take his time and that was just fine because Danny could be fucked just like this for hours. It felt so unbelievably good and the bed was rattling and he was getting louder and louder but he didn’t even care. Steve’s groans in his ear, the tight grasp he had on Danny’s body, the steady thrusting - every gasp he made was addicting. Danny couldn’t get enough.

“So good Danny.” Steve whispered in his ear. “You feel so good.” he grunted quietly.

Danny reached up, holding Steve by the shoulders, and groaned low in his throat.

Danny came twice more before Steve did. And the third nearly in time with Steve. As his trembling thighs were gripping Steve fast, Steve’s thrusts lost rhythm and he buried himself deep in Danny’s shivering cunt, which was milking Steve’s dick for everything it had - Steve filling the condom with loud groans that Danny was echoing. And Steve’s hands were stroking lovingly over his body as they both came down, soaked with sweat, soaking the sheets. Danny’s thighs felt wet with more than just sweat but he didn’t think he’d made a mess.

And he groaned, relishing in the feeling of Steve’s dick deep inside him, slowly softening. He held onto Steve’s inner thighs, groaning as the man kissed underneath his neck, his chin, biting gently into his skin. They held onto each other, neither willing to let go, Steve keeping his hips pressed right into Danny’s like he never wanted his dick to leave and Danny was more than okay with that.

He still couldn’t even believe that this was happening, that it was real, that he’d found acceptance in another man’s arms. Complete acceptance in any person’s arms. And not just acceptance. Steve had _wanted_ him, desired him, found him attractive. And that… there were really no words on that. Acceptance was grand but being desired, wanted - it took away the guilt, the doubt, the compromise. Because there was no compromise. They just wanted each other.

They hardly left the bed until later that afternoon. Danny also gave Steve his ass and having Steve buried deep inside that felt just as good, just as perfect and he couldn’t get enough of it. Steve seemed to have a thing for his ass too because instead of coming inside of him, promising there’d be plenty of that in other circumstances, he’d pulled out and stroked himself to completion all over Danny’s ass and it had been the hottest damn thing. So hot that Steve’s mouth had been a welcome relief on his aching cunt. He’d held onto the bed frame as Steve had held his ass, laying on the bed between his knees, stroking him with his tongue and enthusiastically pleasuring him with his mouth until Danny came all over his face.

Coming in to work the next day, they ignored for the most part the knowing and mischievous looks they got from their coworkers. And that was all right because the tension was gone, Steve was honest to god smiling. He looked happy and that… that right there completely floored Danny. He’d put that smile there, _he’d_ made him look that content. Their partnership wasn’t affected negatively either - far from it. It was just, in all ways, better. Easier.

And for the first time since landing in Hawaii… Danny felt like he was home. With no more thoughts of leaving for New Jersey. Not now, not ever, not so long as he was apart of Hawaii Five-O and not so long as he had Steve - right where they both should be. Together.

 

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Michl's - 'Die Trying'.


End file.
